How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
