Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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