nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
