If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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