im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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