shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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