Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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