I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
