im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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