we made out on top of his cat.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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