yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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