i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
