Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
