playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
