I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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