Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize