evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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