shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
