They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
