dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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