If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
