I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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