I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
