there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
