The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
