I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
