I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
