After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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