Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
