Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
