Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
