I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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