There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
