If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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