So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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