if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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