dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
