We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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