My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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