The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
