I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
that is very illegal...i love you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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