Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
