How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
