Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
