Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
