I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I will pee on everything he values.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
