No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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