Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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