I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
