Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You know, be my cock's hype man.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
