Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
