He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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