On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
