You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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