just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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