I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
