this beer tastes like vomit already
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
