Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize