it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My vagina just recognized that song.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
