forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
