when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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